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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478380">Lesbisch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopelesslyscattered/pseuds/Hopelesslyscattered'>Hopelesslyscattered</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:01:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopelesslyscattered/pseuds/Hopelesslyscattered</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrice cannot escape her own fears. Even in her dreams.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>306</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lesbisch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes when Beatrice closed her eyes, she could still see the imprint of the halo behind her eyelids, an echo of the light of heaven pulsing from beneath a stretch of scarred skin. Not that Beatrice had been looking. And even if she had been looking, she hadn’t been touching. Well, of course she’d touched Ava, just not exactly in the way she wanted. </p>
<p>She could admit that now. The want. It was her own light, one she kept in her heart. Ava had the light of heaven. Beatrice had Ava. </p>
<p>Was this what it was like to be John, the Evangelist? Basking in the glow of someone touched by God, favored by the divine. </p>
<p>After all, she wasn’t blind to the way Ava looked at her either. Beatrice would catch her out of the corner of her eye, staring as she preformed even the most benign tasks. At first, Beatrice had chalked it to Ava’s desire to relearn the things she’d lost in those years stuck in bed. But on more than one occasion, Beatrice had caught Ava’s eye before she managed to turn away. </p>
<p>Curiosity wasn’t what she saw in them. </p>
<p>What she saw she could only compare to a dying man crawling from the desert to find a fountain of the purest water. </p>
<p>Until that point, she had assumed Ava’s feelings for her were nothing but platonic. Friendship. Sure Ava had called her beautiful once, but friends called each other beautiful. She hadn’t thought Ava had meant it any other way than trying to let Beatrice know she accepted her. </p>
<p>Until that moment where their eyes met and she saw her feelings reflected across the other girl’s face. </p>
<p>Though it excited her, thrilled her even, like a bolt of lightning up her spine, it was also disastrous. Before Ava was out of reach, a dream, a fantasy Beatrice could get past, now she was a reality, a possibility, someone within reach. Beatrice wasn’t sure she was strong enough. She prayed to God she would be. </p>
<p>“Beatrice?” </p>
<p>Beatrice opened her eyes. Above her Ava’s face hovered. Startled, she sat up, knocking their forehead’s together with a loud CLAP. </p>
<p>“Ow Jesus, Bea,” Ava swore, rubbing at her forehead.</p>
<p>“Language,” Beatrice hissed, her voice clouded with sleep. </p>
<p>“We just blew up the Vatican. Swearing is the least of our worries,” Ava remarked with a wry smile. </p>
<p>After the battle with Adriel, they had managed to flee. Though they were injured, Mary badly so, they were alive. Camilla, bless her little angel heart, had hot wired a car for them and somehow Lilith had acquired a credit card, Beatrice did not ask whose. 	</p>
<p>They had driven as far as they could manage while Beatrice tended to Mary’s wounds, until they thought they might be far enough away. Now they were holed up in a single motel room with two double beds and a roll-away cot. </p>
<p>They’d given Mary a whole bed to herself to heal. Lilith and Camilla had taken the other, while Beatrice took the cot. Ava assured them she would be fine in the chair in the corner. 																								</p>
<p>Instead of sleeping, however, the Halo Bearer was now sheepishly sitting on the end of Beatrice’s cot. </p>
<p>Ava’s gaze dropped from Beatrice down to her own hands which fidgeted with the ends of Beatrice’s blanket. She was chewing on her lip in a way Beatrice knew meant she wanted to ask a question but didn’t know how to phrase it. </p>
<p>Beatrice reached out, setting her hand on top of Ava’s fidgeting one. It stilled. Ava looked back up at her, and as the cloud of sleep started to rise from Beatrice’s mind, she clocked just how close they were and just how little Ava was wearing. </p>
<p>Without spare clothes, they were all left to whatever they had underneath their fighting gear. For the sisters, it wasn’t so bad. Most of their clothing, even under their gear, was made to be demure. Ava, however, had insisted the regular underclothes too hot under her armor. Instead she sat wearing nothing but boxers and a tank top. The site of so much skin, muscular legs, the shallow dips of her collarbones, the long stretch of her neck had Beatrice swallowing back a feeling she couldn’t quite name or rather didn’t want to. </p>
<p>“Ava.” Her voice was soft and smooth, an attempt to sooth whatever was bothering the other woman. </p>
<p>Ava adjusted their still joined hands to thread their fingers together, absently stroking her thumb across the back of Beatrice’s hand. She pulled their joined hands up, letting her lips brush a warm kiss across each individual knuckle. Ava’s breath was hot against her cool skin, spreading goosebumps up her arm. Every molecule in her body was screaming out to her. Touch her. Be with her. Love her.</p>
<p>What her body didn’t realize was her heart was already there. </p>
<p>Long eyelashes fluttered open baring the other woman’s eyes which were glowing a deep orange behind her dark brown irises. The halo pulsed faintly beneath Ava’s shirt. Before she could think better of it, Beatrice found the hand not in Ava’s pressing against the warm light. She could feel its power under her fingertips with every shift of muscle, every rise and fall of breathe. The light seemed to penetrate her skin, rushing through her veins like liquid gold, every part of her body shimmered with the feeling. The aches of battle lifted. Wounds sealed. An arrow of fire, a spear of gold thrust into her heart. The ecstasy of heaven.  She was Teresa and Ava, her angel. </p>
<p>Ava gasped, light leaking from corners of her mouth. The urge to capture that light herself was so overwhelming that Beatrice found herself pulling Ava towards her. The air between them crackled with power. Ava’s body was emitting light so bright Beatrice’s eyes closed against it.</p>
<p>Just as Ava’s lips brushed against Beatrice’s, the backs of Beatrice’s eyelids went dark as a sharp slicing sound punctuated the quiet air. Ava’s body lurched forward their mouths slipping sloppily along one another til Ava’s forehead bumped against Beatrice’s shoulder. </p>
<p>When Beatrice opened her eyes, she found the divinium sword jutting from between Ava’s shoulder blades. Adriel stood over both of them, a smile like the devil on his face.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth exposing the dark gaping nothingness inside him and snarled, “Lesbisch.” </p>
<p>The word hung in the air between them. Beatrice couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. Ice filled her veins, freezing her to the spot. </p>
<p>Adriel lunged forward, drawing the sword from Ava’s back. Ava cried out blood pouring from what once held light. She looked desperately at Beatrice, but her eyes held an emptiness that shook Beatrice’s very soul as though she were already dead. </p>
<p>Beatrice opened her mouth and screamed.  </p>
<p>“BEATRICE!” </p>
<p>Beatrice sat up fast, knocking her head against the woman in front of her. </p>
<p>“Ow Jesus, Bea,” Ava swore, rubbing at her forehead. </p>
<p>They were sitting just as they had been in her dream, except this time the rest of the sisters surrounded them as well. Each one of them looked more concerned than the next. </p>
<p>Beatrice couldn’t wrap her head around what had happened, her terror clouding any rational thoughts. She pulled Ava towards her, pressing her hand over the halo where once a sword had been stuck. The skin was warm through the cotton tank top, the light of the halo silent. </p>
<p>Ava allowed herself to be manhandled for a moment, before grabbing at Beatrice’s wrists, clutching them to her own chest, pulling her to a stop.</p>
<p>“Bea!” Her voice was firm, sure, just right. Her eyes shown with light. Her skin was whole. Beatrice’s panic started to wain, the rushing sound in her ears quieted so she could finally understand that Ava was speaking to her. “It was a nightmare. You’re ok. You’re safe. We all are. Promise.” </p>
<p>“I...um...” Her gaze pinged from sister to sister to sister to Ava over and over, until Ava shot the others a significant look. </p>
<p>Mary seemed to be the first to understand. “Come on, let’s go find some food.” </p>
<p>“But...” Camila began to protest, but Mary shot her a look so sharp that she squeaked, shutting her mouth and allowing Lilith to take hold of her elbow and lead the small girl from the room. </p>
<p>Only when the door shut, did the rest of Beatrice’s tension uncoiled. Ava ran a hand along her cheek, coxing the nun to look at her. She complied, her own hand coming to rest atop the one on her cheek. </p>
<p>“Are you ok?” Ava kept her voice calm. She ran a thumb under Beatrice’s eye, swiping at the wetness there. It was then Beatrice realized she was crying. </p>
<p>She pulled Ava forward, wrapping her up as though she could protect her if they were just close enough. </p>
<p>“I am now.”</p>
<p>Ava let herself be held, turning her face into Beatrice’s neck. Her eyelashes tickled against the skin there. They stayed like that, feeling the rise and fall of their chests as their breathing synced.  </p>
<p>After a time, Beatrice pulled back slowly, sniffling and wiping angrily at her tears. She was being ridiculous. It was nothing but a dream. “I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>She tried to get up but Ava stopped her. “Why’re you sorry?”</p>
<p>Beatrice paused, halfway between sitting and standing. Looking down on Ava’s sincere face, she answered with the truth. “I didn’t mean to be so weak.”</p>
<p>Ava laughed so hard she let go. </p>
<p>Beatrice stood to her full height, unsure how to take Ava’s laughter. “What?”</p>
<p>Ava got up to face her. Toe to toe. She spoke assuredly, taking both of Beatrice’s hands. “You are the strongest person I have ever met.”</p>
<p>Beatrice could feel the blush rise in her cheeks. She turned away to hide it. “Yes, well, do the strongest people cry over silly dreams?”</p>
<p>Ava tugged her back around. “You’re allowed to be human, Bea.”</p>
<p>“No,” she said, slipping her hand out of Ava’s grasp. “I’m not.”</p>
<p>She left Ava standing by her cot, only glancing back as the door to the room was shutting behind her. It was just in time to catch the confusion, the sadness on the Halo Bearer’s face. </p>
<p>The look of heartbreak.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fun facts in this: John the Evanglist is known as “disciple whom Jesus loved” and Teresa and her angel is a reference to the statue, The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa by Bernini. </p>
<p>I may or may not continue with this. We shall see. Hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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